I grew up in a family where we didn't EVER say, "I love you." The family my husband and I created is more vocal about our feelings. We often say, "I love you." But words are not enough. Families who show love and affection in multiple ways are healt
hier and heartier. And we need to do it regularly. Here are 10 ways to show how much you care.
- Name and proclaim your loved one’s positive qualities. Do this regularly. It’s easy to do the opposite, to focus on the things your child (or partner) is NOT doing well. Turn the table so you are dishing out more positives than negatives.
- Listen. Really listen. What is he saying beyond his words? It’s called active listening and it involves going for the heart of the message. This takes effort, time, and patience. The effort to communicate at this level shows that you care.
- Declare your love and appreciation with words. You may be thinking, “But she should know that I love her.” Believe me; she wants to hear it again so tell her often.
- Attend her events and accompany her as she pursues her interests.
- Give symbols of love, small gifts or notes. Pick up a magazine for him, a book, or a favorite treat. Leave a note in his lunchbox, on his door, or taped to his computer screen.
- Perform favors and small acts that make life easier for your loved one.
- Touch. We all need touch; it’s a recognized human need.
- Share your real thoughts and feelings, authentically and deeply.
- Follow through on promises.
- Go out of your way. Love is not convenient. It is in the stretching where we touch each other in heartfelt and valuable ways.
One more thing, you cannot fake it. If you just go through the motions your family members will see through it. Go to your authentic place, deep inside, where you truly feel love then speak or act your love from that place of truth.
Carry it on: Share this list with your family members; expand on the list. Then ask each family member to name the top three ways they like to be loved. Try to learn what is most meaningful to your family members. Then follow through and show just how much you truly love them.
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