When I was in high school (and even in my young adult years) I thought I was fat. I weighed 117 pounds at 5 feet 5 inches. Yes, I had body fat. And that's all I could see. I was a typical product of our culture - a young woman molded by the media messages that body fat was bad. Here's a picture of me from back then. I wasn't fat.
I didn't develop a true eating disorder but I think I had an eating disorder of sorts. I still have it to a small degree - but I have mostly moved on. The disorder I'm referring to is one that most of the women I know have. We are disconnected from healthy eating. We see only our fat stores and not the beautiful women that we are. Our insecurity feeds the marketers of the world. The beauty and weight loss industry benefits from our less-than view of ourselves. Our insecurity ensures that we spend our money on products that make us feel better about our bodies and our selves. How else can you explain the exorbitant amount of money women spend on beauty products: hair color, extensions, manicures, pedicures, accessories, make up, hair-care products, hair-removal services, and even plastic surgery. REALLY... this stuff doesn't make us beautiful. It's not bad, in and of itself, but it's a band-aid approach. Real beauty emanates from the inside of a woman. A little lipstick, a good hair cut - and even a manicure or a bit of hair color then ACCENTUATES her inner beauty.
And about the FAT - we are supposed to carry body fat. Yes, many of us carry more than we need. But fat is necessary and good. Work to love your body. Work to accept your body for exactly how it is today. If you really do need to loose some excess fat - do it lovingly. You will not succeed by hating your body. You will succeed by accepting yourself for who you are NOW - and loving your body and your self so much that you start making healthier choices. It's a long-term proposition. Do NOT be sucked in to the quick-weight-loss schemes. They don't work. They never have. Almost everyone gains the weight back again.
Here's an exercise for you: Stand in front of a mirror and stare at yourself for a full two minutes. Find at least 3 things you like about what you see. Note those three things so you can REMEMBER to look at the part of you you love. Next, notice one or two things you are less than wild about. Finally - send love to those parts of your body. I'm serious. You cannot move past where you are until you learn to LOVE all of you. Get started. Some of us have a long way to go.
If you want help - come to one of my events. I address issues of body-image and self-esteem at every event I teach.
Or go to Message a Day - to get help in an electronic format - text messages to help you set healthy and good messages in your head. We all have an inner voice, why not make yours positive every day - with targeted text messages designed to help you and empower you!