Fabulous to be female

How to love a sullen teenager? Let me count the ways…

1. Remember what your daughter or son was like as a baby or a toddler. That sweet little child is still in there – somewhere.
2. Make a choice to share positives – five positives for every negative. It’s a magic formula. Studies show that high-quality relationships feature this positive-to-negative ratio. AND I hear back from parents regularly that it works with their teen. Try it. 
3. Forgive and move on.
4. Laugh together. Shared laughter builds bonds and good memories.
5. Remind yourself of what being a teen can be like: pressure, insecurity, so much to learn, social drama…  Your teen needs to know you are on her/his side.

More to come… Stay tuned for a new product line coming – to support YOU in your parenting efforts. I’m very excited about a new venture I’m involved with and will be rolling out in the next few weeks. You, as subscribers to my newsletter will be some of the first to hear of it – and there will be a special offer as well.

Our firstborn, Kelsey, taught me about new life and parental love. Parenting her was a delight. Every day featured smiles, a good-natured response, and a sense of connection. The mystery of new life and shared parent-child love were deeply rewarding experiences.

Our second child, Lisa, taught me to love unconditionally. She was a demanding and cranky baby. I learned to love through it. And as I loved through it, Lisa taught me about her own joy. When she was happy she radiated joy like the sun. I learned to love her in the good times and in the difficult times.

Then when I thought I was an expert on love and parenting, our third child, Noah, taught me another lesson. He taught me to love in the fragile moments where life and death meet. Noah went into anaphylactic shock when he was three and almost died in my arms.  His face and throat swelled, his airway began to close, he became lethargic, and he came close to losing consciousness. That day I learned to love in the moment; I was unsure if there would be a tomorrow for us so I used the moments I had to pour all the mom-love I had into my young son. And somehow it all worked out. He survived, recovered, and is now a healthy 17-year-old boy. But he walks around, every day, with a life-threatening food allergy. It could all happen again. Me, I’ve never been the same. Since the day Noah almost died in my arms I love more deeply and more readily. I forgive. I appreciate the moments I have with those I love. And I tell the people I care about how wonderful they really are.

I have been drastically changed by love. All of my kids have played a part.

I often think that it is we who are the students, the parents. If we pay attention there is so much to learn as we raise our kids. The trick is to pay attention and to allow life and love to stretch us. It’s not easy but it’s so rewarding. Especially the love lessons; they are the most rewarding of all. 

How about you? What have you learned about love from your kids?

Write it down - what, exactly have you learned from each child? After you process and answer the question - and write down your response, consider sharing the lessons with your kids. It will be a gift to your kids and to you.

Celebrate love together. That’s what families are for.